domingo, 7 de noviembre de 2010

Hoja de Vida de Alvaro Uribe enviada a la Universidad de Georgetown

La siguiente es la carta de presentación y hoja de vida enviadas por Uribe a las directivas de la Universidad de Georgetown para participar en el concurso de “profesor honorario”.
Sin duda una excelente relación de realizaciones personales y profesionales; ahora entendemos porque lo escogieron a El.
Originalmente posted en Adios Uribe! @Georgetown

Álvaro Uribe’s Resume
Note: the following was not actually written by Álvaro Uribe nor does it purport to represent his views. Legally, that is.

Cover Letter
Dear Student Body,
I am sure there are many of you wondering, “What is Álvaro Uribe qualified to teach?” Let’s just lay all of your concerns to rest right here. My resume speaks to the fact that I am well qualified to teach you all of the skills you will need in order to implement a vast paramilitary system to do your institution’s dirty work, and keep good track of dissidents, silencing them when necessary, all the while tapping into the limitless pockets of narcotrafficers.
You will find that I am amply qualified to teach you how to erode the rule of law until you can do whatever “needs to be done,” while maintaining high approval ratings. Ultimately, if you employ saavy public relations techniques you may even be hired by a prestigious university like Georgetown. This occupation will provide you a legal status so that you can remain within the United States, sheltered from prosecution by the International Criminal Court.
I look forward to our mutual relationship, and respectfully submit my resume (below) for your consideration.


Sincerely,



AUV



Resume
Education
St Antony’s College, Oxford University, England, 1998-2000
British Council Simón Bolívar scholarship
Harvard Extension School, 1993
Courses in administration and management
Universidad de Antioquia, Medellín, Colombia, 1972-1977
Law Degree, honor student
Work Experience
Republic of Colombia, Bogotá, Colombia, 2002-2010
President
o Increased civilian executions at the hands of State forces by 67%.
o Saw internal refugee population balloon to nearly 5 million people (2nd only to Sudan).
o Undermined and attempted to disrupt judicial investigators and Supreme Court investigation into ties between paramilitaries and members of Congress.
o Promoted political cronies accused of murder and drug trafficking.
o Publicly denegrated the work of human rights defenders and the political opposition, often accusing them of ties with guerrilla groups.
o Criticized the Supreme Court for convicting members of Colombian military for crimes against humanity.
o Secretly negotiated an unconstitutional agreement to put 7 U.S. military bases in Colombia.
Department of Antioquia, Medellín, Colombia, 1995-1997
Governor
o Cultivated relationships with paramilitary death squads.
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